'There is help, there is hope' | The battle against eating disorders in East TN
"We miss her so bad, and I don't want to see another family lose a child this way when it can be prevented," said Jeanette. "It's a very hard disease, but there is help. There is hope."
Kara's Story Overcoming Addiction: Eating Disorders
Kara Capalbo was just 16 years old the first time she forced herself to purge.
"It was like a light switch just turned on. The disease turned on," she said.
What started with an ugly comment in high school sent the typically confident teenager spiraling out of control.
"I need to be thinner. I need to be prettier. I need to be something better because clearly there's something wrong with me if people are making fun of me. But the comments, as a 16-year-old, just hit to the core," she said.
Kara started skipping meals, a habit that eventually turned into bulimia.
Others started noticing.
"That just fed the eating disorder itself, and then the purging started, and from there it just got worse and worse and worse," she said. "It was a monster. Literally the only way I can describe it is it just came and took over my mind, my body and my everyday thoughts."
The problem continued into her 20's.
Kara became more detached from her family and from everyday life.
The disease she hid for so long was taking over.
"I remember one day I purged, and my nose started bleeding and that scared me," she said. "I wanted to rip my skin off. It was as if I just wanted out of my own body, like I just got so sick of having that inside of me, the everyday obsessive thinking."
Kara checked into a treatment center in Florida and found help, but not long after, she turned to alcohol--one addiction leading to another.
"It was almost a coping mechanism because of the eating disorder. I controlled my food with drinking," she said.
Feelings of hopelessness returned, but Kara continued to fight.
"My husband is the reason I went to rehab. I wanted to have kids, I wanted to get married. I wanted to experience life, and I knew in my disease I could not," she said.
In the months that followed, she finally started to heal.
This June, Kara will be five years sober.
"For the first time in probably 12 years I looked at myself, and I loved myself, and it brings tears to my eyes, because I didn't think it was possible," she said. "I know that God has given me a second chance at life. There is help out there."
Kelli's Story Overcoming Addiction: Eating Disorders
Kara recently shared her testimony about those struggles at a local church.
Jeanette Kirby was sitting in the sanctuary.
She felt an instant connection.
"I could see Kelli in her story, and I just knew that God knew that I needed to hear her story and that I needed to meet her," she said.
Jeanette's daughter, Kelli, also started struggling with an eating disorder in high school.
Kelli was an ambitious teenager who was adored by her peers.
"She was president of her class all four years in high school. She was a cheerleader since 7th grade on. She had to be perfect at everything," said Jeanette.
Overcoming Addiction: Kelli's Story
But that desire for perfection began to worry her mother.
Jeanette soon noticed Kelli was losing weight.
"We started telling her you're doing too much at school. You're doing too much. You need to slow down," Jeanette explained.
Kelli appeared to get better, but after high school, her bout with anorexia took an ugly turn.
"She started binging and purging in cosmetology school, and it was just too much pressure on her because she wanted to do so well," Jeanette said.
Kelli was admitted to the hospital with a severe kidney infection.
After three months leave, she recovered and eventually finished cosmetology school while working with a therapist and attending a weekly support group.
"I saw a difference in her, a big difference. She was doing better," Jeanette said.
Kelli got a part-time job and even began dating, but when the relationship fell apart, she relapsed and checked into a treatment center in Chattanooga.
"She would wake up in the middle of the night, and she wouldn't even make herself purge. She would just wake up and there would be upchuck in her bed because her esophagus was all clogged up," said Jeanette. "She was always battling the mind. She would call it Ed the Monster in her head."
When Kelli left rehab, her health quickly deteriorated.
"She started having seizures. She would have them in her sleep. She had to have two pacemakers. She had to have one for her bladder because her bladder quit functioning. She had to cath herself on a daily basis," Jeanette described. "I wanted to take it for her. I wanted her to get better, and I went to anyone, anyone I could find."
Then one day, Jeanette got a call at work.
Kelli had passed away.
"She had gotten so depressed, and we really feel like she probably mixed alcohol with her medication, and that was the end," Jeanette said.
Kelli was 31 years old.
"We miss her so bad, and I don't want to see another family lose a child this way when it can be prevented," Jeanette said. "It's a very hard disease, but there is help. There is hope."
Resources Overcoming Addiction: Eating Disorders
According to the National Eating Disorders Association, 20 million women and 10 million men in the U.S. will develop an eating disorder at some point in their lifetime.
Eating disorders can affect people of any age, any gender and any race.
Jeanette and Kara have made it their mission to help others struggling with eating disorders in East Tennessee before it is too late.
Kara has started an anonymous 12-step support group for those who need help.
You can contact her at theknoxwarriorgroup@gmail.com.
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