KNOXVILLE — Knoxville minister Mark Moreland has spent years counseling young couples in love, but learning what makes his own relationship thrive took time and communication.
"I think my primary love language is probably words of affirmation," said Moreland. "My wife's is focused attention. For me to have eye contact with her helps her feel important."
He believes knowing how to speak your partner's love language can change the course of a relationship.
"I won't say it can happen overnight, but I've heard of it happening very quickly. When two people learn the language and work at speaking that language, it can change the direction of a marriage," he said.
The love languages theory comes from author Gary Chapman.
►Learn your love language at this link
His book has been on the New York Times best seller list for nearly a decade straight.
Chapman says there are 5 love languages: gift giving, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service and touch.
But how do you find yours?
Moreland said what you do most is likely your love language, like giving gifts.
But what fills your "love tank" might not fill your partner's.
"We have this love tank, and when it gets empty we get very fragile," he said.
He said the theory can also apply to other relationships.
"I may think giving my children lots of things is really loving them, but they may just need five minutes of focused eye-to-eye contact," said Moreland.
He believes learning to make others feel loved in a way that speaks to them makes all the difference.
"A touch on the arm, renewing that touch for somebody that has that love language can be significant," said Moreland.
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